dreams
(cited from a mail)
i dreamt this night...
perhaps when i lied down- and that was very early for me- at 9.30 or ten...(woke up at 2 again and slept till 7:30)--when i lied down i was thinking about what zoey, the best friend of franz said...
but perhaps lets start from the story right at it beginning:
who is zoey?
when i first met franz- that was on a party, february six years ago, and i was very very drunk. i realized him in his chinese military khaki jacket, as he stood there first to the back, holding a net of oranges in the hand...i thought whaa- everybodys drinking here, what is this vitamin freak doing here...then i, franz, and zoey- his best friend with whom he came, had a short talk and i realized what for the oranges were- they invited me to their round, drinking tequila...i talked with franz, he was the first whom i remarked, and then i talked with zoey- he was a "cool" guy, handsome- with platin blond faired hair...we had a talk- i remember about fight club. that time i was really fascinated about this movie...and talked about it with zoey- he said something "its crap..and dont you think, that..."
it wasnt just oppositon, it was very provocative- and made me upset, the more because i was very drunk...i realized later, that it was a play- of both,franz too. opposite peoples opinons, provoke them, and sometimes it has gone so far to spoil peoples atmosphere, or even to destroy ones worldviews....i went away...zoey was strange
after 2 months of being in love with franz, without knowing him, i decided to call him (i found his number from a friend)...i made the first step! ^-^
i was and am very proud of that. we came together. and we spent a lot of time in franz room ;) having love six times a day...and you know im loud...
and franz lived with zoey together...he hated me. ok. i understand that, but we had nowhere to go....he didnt had a girlfriend this time- i think it drove him crazy to hear us instead....
when we went out together once, with my friends- he wasnt talking to me, just to franz, i felt so ignored...and i feared to say something, because he hated me...that night we were all drunk, evi too- and evi made this test- it was really tough- she first danced before zoey- wanted to seduce him, and then sat on zoey and undressed her shirt, showing and presenting him her naked breasts......and that was before ALL people---i think everyone, zoey the most, was really shocked. i laughed about it, because it was a nice revenge, because zoey didnt like me....
and zoey had a shock from my freaky friends for a lifetime i guess- he didnt found evi attractive, and he didnt went out with us no more...
then he got a girlfriend, she was from poland, studying theatre- and making theatre in bed...she was a fan of dirty talking- we heared it through the walls at franz...and laughed :)
he left her- and we also moved out to mariahilferstrasse, the small cell where you and me spent our first night....
i heared franz talking about zoey- he was a casanova, and about his newest conquests, his parallel girlfriends, his dishonesty, his stylization to a sexmachine....it was amusing, and franz was defending him- "in fact he is so sensitive"...hahah
and what also structed me, that franz and zoey had a lot of same tastes, and also the same way of comic figures. franz was like an alter ego of zoey- i couldnt find out who is coping from whom- zoey was more creative, franz gave up, although he drawed really fantastically, because of his frustration...i wated to study art too, but he infected me and i fell in this sprial of giving up too....shame on that!
so this was somehow strange- whos the copy, whos the original??
although zoey always was ignoring me- and i was too proud to say something to him, it was hurting me much. and it hurt me that franz didnt support me. he knew that zoey hated me, and he even showed me one mail from zoey- that was saying-" and...did you get rid of this polish garbage?" he was xenophobic.
and what i thought yesterday was:
2 weeks ago, franz gets a mail from zoey. (he studied skaninavistic, made the master, and lives now in norwegia, washing dishes, but he finally found his dream-woman) franz said, that he is inviting him to norwegia, and i can come too...whaa...i thought perhaps hes not serious...but i really want reconcilliation...could it be?
and i thought- yesterday- what a pity, i wont have reconcillation with zoey, because i left franz....
now about my dream.
do you have recurring dreams? i have.
the one is about shitting. i want to shit, and im in this public huge toilet, where there are short walls, or no walls in between- and no door to lock, no way to be unseen...i hate this dream, im searching for a toilet where noone can see how im shitting...i dont want to be seen...and the need is growing stronger...im searching without finding...and wake up never finding the right toilet......
i dreamt this one day before breaking up with franz...
( and miriam my best friend- dreamt that we were together- but she didnt know about anything- that we are all in water and im parting franz, saying i have to go, and run away.....strange)
the other recurring dream is the dream about zoey.
in the dream i often want to make love with zoey.
or im making love with him, and somehow he changes into another person, i do not know or remember...
in these dreams i search for reconcilliation with zoey, but i never get it...
now, today i dreamt this dream:
im on a party with franz and zoey...and im leaving franz...im fleeing into the car of zoey- he goes in, starts the car- without realizing me in the car- and im sitting next to him...so im not sure- is he not aware of me, or is he just simply ignoring me...we drive a while, minutes that way- i cannot figure it out that he is not remarking me...and i accept...
the car stops, he openes the window in the car- skylight(?)-upwards, he stands up, turns to me and laughs cooly...and hes someone else...i dont remeber what he said, but i realized that perhaps zoey was just playing, and ignoring me finally......
i dont like these dreams...they are somehow symbols....which i cannot fully interprete.....
to all of you, reading this fart:
would like to hear your interpretation....
i dreamt this night...
perhaps when i lied down- and that was very early for me- at 9.30 or ten...(woke up at 2 again and slept till 7:30)--when i lied down i was thinking about what zoey, the best friend of franz said...
but perhaps lets start from the story right at it beginning:
who is zoey?
when i first met franz- that was on a party, february six years ago, and i was very very drunk. i realized him in his chinese military khaki jacket, as he stood there first to the back, holding a net of oranges in the hand...i thought whaa- everybodys drinking here, what is this vitamin freak doing here...then i, franz, and zoey- his best friend with whom he came, had a short talk and i realized what for the oranges were- they invited me to their round, drinking tequila...i talked with franz, he was the first whom i remarked, and then i talked with zoey- he was a "cool" guy, handsome- with platin blond faired hair...we had a talk- i remember about fight club. that time i was really fascinated about this movie...and talked about it with zoey- he said something "its crap..and dont you think, that..."
it wasnt just oppositon, it was very provocative- and made me upset, the more because i was very drunk...i realized later, that it was a play- of both,franz too. opposite peoples opinons, provoke them, and sometimes it has gone so far to spoil peoples atmosphere, or even to destroy ones worldviews....i went away...zoey was strange
after 2 months of being in love with franz, without knowing him, i decided to call him (i found his number from a friend)...i made the first step! ^-^
i was and am very proud of that. we came together. and we spent a lot of time in franz room ;) having love six times a day...and you know im loud...
and franz lived with zoey together...he hated me. ok. i understand that, but we had nowhere to go....he didnt had a girlfriend this time- i think it drove him crazy to hear us instead....
when we went out together once, with my friends- he wasnt talking to me, just to franz, i felt so ignored...and i feared to say something, because he hated me...that night we were all drunk, evi too- and evi made this test- it was really tough- she first danced before zoey- wanted to seduce him, and then sat on zoey and undressed her shirt, showing and presenting him her naked breasts......and that was before ALL people---i think everyone, zoey the most, was really shocked. i laughed about it, because it was a nice revenge, because zoey didnt like me....
and zoey had a shock from my freaky friends for a lifetime i guess- he didnt found evi attractive, and he didnt went out with us no more...
then he got a girlfriend, she was from poland, studying theatre- and making theatre in bed...she was a fan of dirty talking- we heared it through the walls at franz...and laughed :)
he left her- and we also moved out to mariahilferstrasse, the small cell where you and me spent our first night....
i heared franz talking about zoey- he was a casanova, and about his newest conquests, his parallel girlfriends, his dishonesty, his stylization to a sexmachine....it was amusing, and franz was defending him- "in fact he is so sensitive"...hahah
and what also structed me, that franz and zoey had a lot of same tastes, and also the same way of comic figures. franz was like an alter ego of zoey- i couldnt find out who is coping from whom- zoey was more creative, franz gave up, although he drawed really fantastically, because of his frustration...i wated to study art too, but he infected me and i fell in this sprial of giving up too....shame on that!
so this was somehow strange- whos the copy, whos the original??
although zoey always was ignoring me- and i was too proud to say something to him, it was hurting me much. and it hurt me that franz didnt support me. he knew that zoey hated me, and he even showed me one mail from zoey- that was saying-" and...did you get rid of this polish garbage?" he was xenophobic.
and what i thought yesterday was:
2 weeks ago, franz gets a mail from zoey. (he studied skaninavistic, made the master, and lives now in norwegia, washing dishes, but he finally found his dream-woman) franz said, that he is inviting him to norwegia, and i can come too...whaa...i thought perhaps hes not serious...but i really want reconcilliation...could it be?
and i thought- yesterday- what a pity, i wont have reconcillation with zoey, because i left franz....
now about my dream.
do you have recurring dreams? i have.
the one is about shitting. i want to shit, and im in this public huge toilet, where there are short walls, or no walls in between- and no door to lock, no way to be unseen...i hate this dream, im searching for a toilet where noone can see how im shitting...i dont want to be seen...and the need is growing stronger...im searching without finding...and wake up never finding the right toilet......
i dreamt this one day before breaking up with franz...
( and miriam my best friend- dreamt that we were together- but she didnt know about anything- that we are all in water and im parting franz, saying i have to go, and run away.....strange)
the other recurring dream is the dream about zoey.
in the dream i often want to make love with zoey.
or im making love with him, and somehow he changes into another person, i do not know or remember...
in these dreams i search for reconcilliation with zoey, but i never get it...
now, today i dreamt this dream:
im on a party with franz and zoey...and im leaving franz...im fleeing into the car of zoey- he goes in, starts the car- without realizing me in the car- and im sitting next to him...so im not sure- is he not aware of me, or is he just simply ignoring me...we drive a while, minutes that way- i cannot figure it out that he is not remarking me...and i accept...
the car stops, he openes the window in the car- skylight(?)-upwards, he stands up, turns to me and laughs cooly...and hes someone else...i dont remeber what he said, but i realized that perhaps zoey was just playing, and ignoring me finally......
i dont like these dreams...they are somehow symbols....which i cannot fully interprete.....
to all of you, reading this fart:
would like to hear your interpretation....
kaka - 10. Feb, 10:56
